Bird with a broken wing.

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[And here is a Crow. He's wandering through the streets of Satellite with a wad of cash stuffed in his boot, wondering if he dares go back to the club now that he knows Daddy was right . . . . his lover's been missing for nearly a week, you see. And never before has he just disappeared without saying where he was going first, or at least indicating that he'd be back.

Meantime, this little bird is nibbling on a bit of beef jerky . . . not really tasting it, exactly, but he's got to eat. And if he does go back to Daddy Godwin's, he has very little doubt he'll be getting very many treats for awhile.

Someone want to stop him/encourage him/help him out?]

Comments

[stardustg2ma288]

[Yusei's not really missing... he's just been huddled up in his old nest since the incident with Kiryu. This is one of the rare times he's been off the roof... now he's perched on a Dumpster again, back to old habits. Except after eating good food, his tolerance for scavenged meals has died. He just pokes at the trash, not knowing what he's even doing.]

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[Here comes your boyfriend, Yuusei. He doesn't look too happy, either. He's just kind of huddled into a jacket that looks rather like it probably belongs to you, not him. And a little bit like he wants to disappear. Not exactly normal, in other words. But between the boots and the lack of markings, there's probably little doubt it's him.]

[stardustg2ma288]

[He missed Crow so much... but he's not entirely sure how to face his lover after what he's done. Still, he's lonely, and before he thinks about what he's doing, Yusei opens his mouth to call to Crow. He hasn't spoken in days, so all that comes out is a mournful croon, distinctive to anyone who knows him.]

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[Crow looks up. He's probably just imagining things, but hope springs eternal in the human breast, and all that. See how lonely he looks, Yuusei? LOOK AT HIM, HE MISSED YOU. If he had tail feathers, they would totally be drooping right now. You can tell just by looking at him. He sort of mouths Yuusei's name down the alley, sure it has to be some kind of . . . something. Illusion, maybe?]

[stardustg2ma288]

[Another sad croon, louder and longer this time, Yusei reaching out to Crow with one hand. He's filthy, his feathers ragged and not preened recently.]

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[Great job, Yuusei. He's staring down the alley, already starting to cry. Does his lover look that way because nobody's been around to take care of him . . . . ? Or is it something else? Camouflage against being found by the bird he left behind? Either way, Crow takes a couple of steps into the alley, and then - when blinking the tears out of his eyes does not make his lover vanish - speeds up, until he's nearly running by the time he gets halfway down it. Watch it, Chimera, if he tries to glomp you he may very well knock you into the dumpster. Which, you know, would actually be kind of funny, in a deja vu kind of way. Only not.]

[stardustg2ma288]

[Yusei stares as Crow charges at him, quickly hopping down from the Dumpster so they don't end up in the trash. He holds out his arms tentatively, shaking, the dirt smudged on his face streaked with tears.]

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[And he . . . surprisingly, doesn't care how dirty you are. That's a switch. He's just going to try to cover your face in kisses now. Whispering between each one as he does how very much he missed you, how very much he loves you . . . and that he was afraid. Of what, he doesn't say, but he admits it.]

[stardustg2ma288]

[Yusei's frozen for a minute, then just sags heavily against Crow, making all manner of quiet, miserable sounds as he cries on his lover's shoulder. He's really distraught... something happened while he was missing.]

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[And he has no healing phoenix song to share with you, Yuusei - although just now he would gladly give up quite a lot if he did. He's just going to stroke your hair and whisper in your ear, instead.] shhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . come on, babe, what are you doing out here . . . . ?

[stardustg2ma288]

[Yusei's sobs are almost musical, but broken and heartsick.]

**I... I had to get away... I....**

[He's shaking harder now.]

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

Why? [He looks worried.] Babe, what . . . what happened?

[stardustg2ma288]

[He's shaking so hard, Crow, like he'll fly apart any second.

**I... I hurt somebody....**

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

You . . . ? [And he doesn't quite appear to get it, Yuusei. Have that birdlike tilt of the head he does.]

[stardustg2ma288]

[Having to explain it won't help him. He's sobbing harder than Crow's ever seen him do before.]

**I hurt somebody, Crow! I just wanted to help, and I ended up hurting him!**

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

Shhhh. It's okay, sweetheart. Really. [Hair-stroking is go?] Come on, let's . . . get you home so we can get you washed up . . .

[stardustg2ma288]

**It's NOT okay! I... I made him bleed... I broke his mind... and part of me LIKED it!**

[He's trying to push away, thinking he doesn't deserve such gentleness and love. Not after what he did.]

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[He lets go . . . but he certainly doesn't look happy about it. On the contrary, he looks at the ground, fairly certain he's done something wrong.] Yuusei . . .

[stardustg2ma288]

**What happens when I hurt you, Crow?!** [Yusei hugs himself tightly, hunched over.] **The Mara took over even though I've been feeding it, just because it wanted me to hurt someone! And I couldn't stop it!**

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[Of course. Just what he was afraid of . . . that in spite of his sweetness and his acceptance, Yuusei would leave . . . and leave him alone again. It wasn't bad when he didn't know what that meant, but now? Now it is.] . . . . . . . should I . . . go?

[stardustg2ma288]

[It's too much. Yusei collapses to his knees, almost squeezing himself in a vulnerable embrace.]

**... what do I do... I don't want to be alone... I don't... but it'll make me hurt you, too....**

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[And Yuusei probably has no way of even conceiving how much damage he did by running off that way. Left alone with his thoughts, Crow had plenty of time for self-doubt to set in . . . and set in it most definitely has. He sits down next to Yuusei and reaches out to touch Yuusei's arm tentatively, as though he's afraid he'll be told to get off, offering up a sad little smile.] It's . . . okay if you don't want me around. Really. I . . . . . . . . there's always the club. I can go back if I have to. Daddy . . . . always takes care of - everything - [And here is a muffled sniffle. He doesn't want Daddy to take care of everything, not anymore. He wants to live in his little hut on the beach with his lover, picking his own clients and his own hours. He wants Yuusei to take care of things . . . and maybe, a little, to learn to take care of things himself.]

[stardustg2ma288]

[Feeling Crow's sadness doesn't help. Yusei chokes quietly, his wings dragging on the dirty sidewalk, radiating that ever-present self-loathing. Just when he was starting to feel better about himself, too. But even if he hates himself and what he's done....]

**... I don't want to be alone... but I can't force you to stay if you think you're in danger...**

[thebirdforyou.livejournal.com]

[He shakes his head violently, reaching out to pull Yuusei into another fervent clingfest.] No, I want you, I want - [and oh, there are so many things he wants and does not know how to express with words, but if Yuusei can feel his mind now, he may realise that his presence is in each and every one of them - peace and quiet and the little house on the beach and the simple freedom Crow has come to understand at least a little. What does any of it mean if Yuusei isn't with him?]

[stardustg2ma288]

[And Yusei is clinging right back, sobbing like the wreck he is, his mind washing over Crow's in a wave of sorrow and regret. He wants all those good things, too... but he's afraid he'll become that monster again. It's lurking in the back of his mind, laughing at him, biding its time until it can cause more harm.]

**... tell me you forgive me... tell me, and I'll come home, Crow....**